hello@leadwithrobin.in

He Was About to Let Him Go—Then He Learned How to Manage Difficult Team Members

March 21, 2025

Rahul sat at his desk, staring at yet another email complaint about Rajiv, his most challenging employee.

The senior developer was brilliant at his work, but his attitude? A nightmare.

He dismissed feedback from teammates, clashed with colleagues in meetings, and just won’t take instructions.

This was the fourth complaint this month, and Rahul was running out of patience.

He had tried everything: private feedback sessions, more independent projects, more perks.

But nothing seemed to work. “Has he built a wall around himself?’” Rahul wondered.

They were running out of time, though. There were projects yet to be completed, and Rajiv had clearly missed his deadlines.

Rahul knew he was going to be held accountable for the shortcomings of his team, and Rajiv was clearly giving Rahul a hard time.

Yet, Rahul couldn’t deny the fact that Rajiv was good at what he did. He had extra-ordinary skills, but his output suffered.

Rajiv seemed to be a difficult team member, and if Rahul was going to figure out how to manage difficult team members, he’d need a different approach—and also do so quickly. Else, Rajiv’s failure to work with Rahul would result in his dismissal.

And Rahul knew how hard and expensive it was to replace talented people.

So Rahul folded his sleeves and got to work. Determined to find a way to work with Rajiv.

To begin with, he started observing Rajiv for the first few days. Not trying to correct, control, or manage him, but simply observe.

And as he did this, something interesting happened. Rajiv, who had already sensed that he was in trouble, was expecting Rahul to react. But to his surprise, Rahul had not spoken a word. He appeared just very normal, as if nothing had happened.

This made Rajiv uncomfortable. He wasn’t used to this. He was used to being confronted, controlled, and micromanaged. And this time, none of that happened.

An entire week of silence. As far as Rajiv was concerned, this wasn’t something he was used to.

Funnily, Rajiv started showing up to work on time. And not just that, he also started making some progress with the projects.

It appeared as if Rajiv was intent on having a conversation with Rahul. Because the lack of acknowledgement of the problem Rajiv was creating was driving him mad.

But it wasn’t just Rajiv who was noticing these changes and responding differently. Rahul to felt this approach of observing to be quite a revelation for himself.

He thought, “How strange. I have removed myself from managing and instructing Rajiv, and he seems to do better. I wonder if the problem is Rajiv, or was it the way I was managing him?”

It was the second week, and Rahul felt it was now time to speak to Rajiv. So he scheduled a one-on-one with him.

“Rajiv, can you spare a few minutes?” And soon Rajiv was in Rahul’s cabin.

After breaking the ice a bit, Rahul got to the point. “Rajiv, first, I am impressed with the progress you’re making with the project. Of course, we have missed the deadline, but I am sure you’re already aware of it, and are doing everything to expedite the delivery. On another note, I have been spending a while reflecting on my relationship with the team, and I wanted to take this opportunity to understand, if there is anything I can do, to help you boost your effectiveness. Your failure is my failure. Because we’re a team.”

Rajiv couldn’t believe his ears. Rahul, the person who was so obsessed with micromanagement and perfection, was suddenly speaking a completely different language.

Rajiv of late had been used to speaking in a bit of an arrogant tone, but after hearing what he had heard, even he softened.

“Rahul, thank you for taking the time to speak with me and for asking your question. I want to inform you that I didn’t want to miss the deadline; however, Pia and Santosh received the same workload but have almost two weeks more than me to complete their parts of the project.

I understand and appreciate that you see me as a quality developer, but that doesn’t make me a superhuman. I still need adequate time to deliver the project, but that simply didn’t happen—I felt I was unreasonably being put under pressure. I don’t know what I did to deserve this treatment.”

Rahul was a bit surprised, but then suddenly, it hit him, because Rajiv was such a talented developer, Rahul was committing the sin many managers commit. They punish the performer by giving them more work than others. But they do this unintentionally. Often not realising that they could put the individual under undue pressure.

Rahul, who had been spending the last few days reflecting on his own leadership, didn’t find it hard to process this information. He then told Rajiv, “I see exactly what you’re talking about, and I totally agree. I never realised I was giving you more work than others, even though that was because you are so talented, but just because that is the case, doesn’t warrant increasing your workload. I appreciate your openness.”

Rajiv immediately felt relieved. Rahul promised Rajiv that they would work on reasonable work schedules and that he would no longer feel pressured just because he was a performer.

This was such a tremendous revelation for Rahul. For one, he felt quite relieved himself, that he wouldn’t have to let go of a talented team member, but also realised that if there’s an issue in the team, it is important for him as a leader to reflect on how he could be playing a role in it.

Difficult team members are symptoms, leadership is often the cause.

Rajiv’s pushback was coming from his inability to communicate how he felt about the treatment he got at work. Of course, he could have and should have responded in a better way.

Yet, the bigger responsibility lies in the hands of managers like Rahul, who rightly took a diagnostic approach in identifying what was bothering Rajiv. And it all came down to an unreasonable workload.

That Rahul had given Rajiv space to express himself openly. And then instead of trying to be a boss and exert authority, or defend himself, he simply accepted that he had made a mistakeone he would rectify.

It was the moment where Rahul showed to Rajiv his vulnerability. Not because he saw it as a sign of weakness, but a sign of growth. Which made Rajiv feel it was safe to make mistakes under Rahul’s leadership. And that he could count on Rahul for support and help if he ever encountered another problem.

Employees want to feel heard more than anything. And it can’t get any easier than this in handling difficult team members.

So, when you’re weathering the storm of a difficult team member, don’t just manage the behavior—look for the root cause.

Because what looks like resistance might actually be a cry for help.

What seems like attitude might actually be unfair pressure.

And what you think is a “difficult employee” might just be a mismanaged top performer.

Difficult team members are often symptoms. Leadership, more often than not, is the cause.

And the solution? It starts with a single shift.

In Rahul’s case, there was one leadership skill—a principle, really—that quietly turned the entire situation around.

It’s the skill that, once practiced, can transform your culture, build loyalty, and turn even your toughest team members into your strongest allies.

There’s a word for it.

And if you’d like to know what it is, there’s no one else better than Robin to give that answer.

So why not ask him directly?

Ask Robin – Book Your 15-min Call


Disclaimer: This story is an illustrative narrative designed to convey leadership insights through storytelling. The characters and events are fictional and meant to reflect real-world situations many leaders face. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.